


Lithium

by LyeInWeight



Series: Song-Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Songfic, it's very ambiguous, so if you don't like drarry just pretend it's something else if you really need to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3708167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyeInWeight/pseuds/LyeInWeight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Lithium</i><br/><i>Don't wanna lock me up inside</i><br/><i>Lithium</i><br/><i>Don't wanna forget how it feels withou</i>t<br/><i>Lithium</i><br/><i>I wanna stay in love with my sorrow</i><br/><i>Oh, but God, I wanna let it go</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lithium

_Lithium_

_Don't wanna lock me up inside_

_Lithium_

_Don't wanna forget how it feels without_

_Lithium_

_I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_

_Oh, but God I wanna let it go_

_One more pill, and you'd be done._

_This twice daily routine you put yourself through because it would make you feel “better.” An anti-depressant, then an anti-anxiety drug in the morning, and a sleeping pill at night. In between each dosage, you would curl up on your bed, and try to forget what brought you here._

_Come to bed, don’t make me sleep alone_

_Couldn’t hide the emptiness so let it show_

_Never wanted it to be so cold_

_Just didn’t drink enough to say you love me_

_Sometimes, he would come, and comfort you. Sometimes, he came and yelled at you, smelling of cheap liquor and regret. He called you a failure, a waste of space. Most of the time, you didn’t yell back. Partly because you didn’t have the energy, and partly because he was right. You_ were _a failure. Once, you were a hero. Now you were barely even human._

_I can’t hold on to me_

_Wonder what’s wrong with me_

_You were floating, an empty shell of what had been before and what could never be again. You were drugged to Hell and no one would pull you out. Not even him._

_Lithium_

_Don’t wanna lock me up inside_

_Lithium_

_Don’t wanna forget how it feels without_

_Lithium_

_I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_

_You wanted to love him. Really, you did. You wanted to feel his pale skin under your hands, run your fingers through his hair and feel something. Anything that wasn’t a cold empty pit in your stomach. But you couldn’t._

_Don’t wanna let it lay me down this time_

_Drown my will to fly_

_Here in the darkness_

_I know myself_

_Can’t break free_

_Until I let it go_

_Let me go_

_Sometimes, a flicker of_ something _broke through the haze. You could feel the warmth from his smile, the one he gave you all those years ago. But that smile was dulled now, rubbed away from the unending nothing that surrounded you._

_Darling, I forgive you after all_

_Anything is better than to be alone_

_And in the end, I guess I had to fall_

_Always find my place among the ashes_

_Before, when his smile still held that brightness, he thought the drugs would be your fire, and you would rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Now he saw that the drugs were like dousing a flame, drowning you and leaving you broken inside._

_Lithium_

_Don’t wanna lock me up inside_

_Lithium_

_Don’t wanna forget how it feels without_

_Stay in love with me_

_When you had the energy, you begged him to stay. He never could._

_Ah_

_So one day, you took your wand and_

_I’m gonna let it go_

_you let him go._

**Author's Note:**

> First part of a series of songfics I'll be posting on Wednesdays. May or may not be connected, and I will let you know if they are.
> 
> Seriously, I had Drarry in mind when I was writing this but it isn't very clear.


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